Joyce, thank you for sharing the beautiful melody of your speech about cherishing our loved ones.
Tonight I would like to share with you 3 commendations and 3 recommendations.
Firstly, I would like to share about your strengths as a speaker using the 3 Ses.
The 1st S is for smooth delivery of our speech. You were fluent and confident as a speaker and able to overcome any nervousness you may have felt.
The 2nd S is for sincerity. You shared with us heartfelt emotions in your speech and even admitted at one point that you were too busy for your grandmother. Your honesty and sincerity as a speaker has certainly moved us.
The 3rd S is for stories. You used stories in your speech to effectively bring across your message, that we should learn to cherish our loved ones before it is too late. I especially liked how you used two different stories to show contrast between your friend's and your own attitude.
How could you have improved on the speech? Allow me to show with your 3 areas of improvement using the 3Es.
The 1st E is for expression. You appeared rather serious and sombre most of the time. Perhaps you could lighten up and be more expressive. Vary your facial expressions to show impatience or sadness or disappointment to reinforce your storytelling.
The 2nd E is for energy. The energy of your speech was a bit low, how can we lift up the energy level? Use vocal variety and dramatic gestures where appropriate to create more energy in your speech.
The 3rd E is for effective use of grammar. There were a few mistakes in your presentation (forgot to note down the examples...) so do make an effort to rehearse more so that these can be avoided. Correct grammar will help you to appear more credible as a speaker.
In conclusion, continue to use the 3Ses smooth delivery, sincerity and stories to mesmerize your audience. Work on the 3Es expression, energy and effective use of grammar, and you will be able to become a more poised and proficient speaker.
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